The Top 5 List of Things Indians Can and Cannot Do.
AKA "My experiences living in a shared house: a summary".

Can

1. Make a portable bidet out of the most random items.
2. Break windows when locked in a room but then not use the open window to escape.
3. Show absolutely no emotion even when they know you're eating beef right in front of them.
4. Lock their keys in their room then contact you as though you know a secret way to get into the room that they don't.
5. Beat me at Rockstar's Table Tennis game on XBOX 360. Okay, the character is really from Egypt but I didn't know that for like ten minutes and he looks Indian damn it.


Cannot

1. Speak English.
2. Remember my name (I just refer to them collectively as 'the indians').
3. Use their bidet without putting shitwater all over the toilet floor.
4. Sit inside for ten minutes. They have some innate desire to stand around outside the house and do exactly what they were doing inside: NOTHING.
5.